A Pause in teh Meditations

I'm sorry tht it has been quiet for the last week. The past week has been difficult in the extreme. I have had such a lack of sleep that my sanity seems to be slipping. The kids just DO NOT sleep through the night. In nearly five months, all three kids have slept through the night just three times. I have slept poorly for the past 19 years so when they kids came and someone asked, how will this affect your sleep? I said, what sleep? Well, I found out that I got a lot more sleep then I thought I got, because it has indeed gotten worse.

This situation has caused all kinds of stress in our household -- lack of sleep, a strong-willed child that is constantly pushing her will against ours, an infant that whines, constantly especially when grandpa leaves, a little girl that doesn't get to have her parents attention like she was used to, a wage earner that is laid off (he starts a new job next Monday, though, praise God!) since January, increased financial expenses and the list could go on. Last Thursday, it came to a head during the overnight. I was up from 1:30 to 5 am (I wake up at 5:40), my husband blew up at me. Friday at work the following morning was a ssupremely difficult day. I wondered if I could survive it.

God bore me through. Had it been up to me, I wouldn't have made it through the front door that morning let alone get through my whole shift at work. I slept as well as I could on Friday night (only up twice with one child), Saturday, Sunday and Monday nights were full of wake ups, so I'm still exhausted, but God bears me up and gets me through the days and looooooong nights that so rarely bring any restful sleep. For the first time in 19 years, I'm thinking about taking sleep medication. Please pray for sleep. I am nearly critically in need of it. Lack of sleep causes irritation and severe lack of patience. I can't seem to give the best of myself under the circumstances and it seems that only the worst comes out no matter how hard of an effort I put in. God has been carrying me through, no dobut. I'd just like to get some sleep.

I will continue with the meditations, I just was sleeping any little bit I could, so I was skipping them.